Back on track!

Voila! I am back! Is there anybody actually reading this? Anyway, I think I should continue documenting my ups and downs and experiment until I finally figure it out!.... After my weight went up inexplicably last week for a day, I cut down on my carbs and avoided all grains for 2 days. I was drained and felt tired although I was taking in my calories. I also craved sweets. It suddenly struck me. I have suddenly an explanation to what happened last year. I have always enjoyed working out and challenging myself. I always looked for what's new and educated myself about exercise physiology ( we doctors don't get a lot of education about nutrition and exercise physiology). But last year something happened. I still worked out but I dreaded it. I felt tired and drained all the time even when I took a week off exercise. .... I was not eating carbs. No bread, pasta, rice or anything with flour. Niente.... My calories came mainly from protein. It did not matter whether I ate before or after exercise; I was always tired. The light bulb came just after those couple of days when I cut out on carbs." I gained weight then it must be the carbs" . That's how everybody seems to think nowadays and that's how I was thinking. But my energy level also dropped dramatically. Over the weekend, I incorporated back some grains and regained back my vitality.
Earlier this year, I went on a diving trip and I was eating 3 meals and 2 snacks, all including carbs. I reflected on this because I was eating much larger amounts than my regular intake and IT CONTAINED CARBS! My weight was not much affected . Of course, we were diving 4 times a day which burns a lot but the meals were also enjoyable, varied and in small portions. I knew in my heart what I needed to do but the demons came back to hunt me and as soon as I hit home, I was back to my ways. NO CARBS. My weight kept creeping up and I kept cutting down on my caloric intake. Needless to say, I was doing something wrong.....I still did it my way.
Then recently, I was in Europe, again eating 3 meals and I actually lost 3 pounds. The difference? I was walking from the second I wake up until I went to sleep. I was also eating enjoyable meals that I can pick from the endless array of restaurants. I focused on the moment and forgot about food in between meals. Here however, food is everywhere. I can resist the abundant food once, twice ,  most of the time but not all the time. I might eat out of boredom or just because it is there. Most of the time, I am not enjoying what I am eating. Today, I remembered that and I did not pick up and taste the candies at the supermarket checkout.
In fact, despite starting the day on the wrong foot by eating a truffle first thing in the morning, the day went wonderful.
Breakfast: 1 Arnold bread, 1 egg and 3 egg whites with onions omelette
Lunch / Dinner: my version of Salade Nicoise
I hate Tuna so I ate 3.8 oz Tilapia on a bed of Romaine lettuce, 3 olives, 1 hard-boiled egg, 1/2 a tomato and capers. The dressing? (makes 5 servings)
I wanted to decrease the fat so I added 1/4 c of aged Balsamic vinegar of Modena, 1/8 c of olive oil, 7 figs, 1/4 c of almonds dry roasted. I also added water and Dijon mustard to have a semi thick texture.
I enjoyed my salad with 1.2 oz of crispy sourdough baguette. Yummee
Snack: 1 oz of the above bread and 6 white flesh anchovies
Workout: lower body weights and plyometrics + 30 min run (2.5) miles = 250 calories. I almost did not run after the workout citing all excuses but I am glad I did. I told myself that I was only going to do 10 min and that was it. Everytime I felt that my legs are tiring, I increased my speed to wash out the lactate.
It was a good day
Luv

M& M

I have a feeliiing....!

Ok! The hens were a success and everybody ate. Yes, including my husband and son! My plan for workout number 2 also was almost a success!
 My plan to attend the spinning class was altered secondary to an accident on the road that delayed the traffic for 15 min. As I peeked in and hoped someone will suddenly leave his bike in a full class, I realized it was a new instructor and that the class was actually very boring. So I abandon my begging and preying attitude and happily modify my plan by doing 45 min on the elliptical (500 calories and 4.3 miles) while watching Spiderman movie. I have not had my dinner yet and I arrived home ravenous. I stuck to my plan of eating half a hen and 1/2 a cup of rice except that it was not enough and I had to follow with 2 oz French baguette and 0.5 oz of feta cheese. As if that was not enough, I ate 2 truffles and left the kitchen defeated. Darn! I almost had a perfect day! ....I had a cup of tea and planned my meals for next day, meaning today.
Breakfast: 1 egg and 1/2 a cup omelette on Arnold bread (100 calories) and a cup of spinach
Lunch: 2oz canned tuna with mustard, tomatoes and olives in a small whole wheat pita bread and a kiwi
afternoon snack: 1/2 cup of lentils and 2 oz smoked salmon and in case I am late, I put in bag a cup of blueberries. All this is time consuming and I am hoping my night slip up won't show on the scale tomorrow.... except that it did... I was up 1.6 lbs ... Unfair... really unfair... I was really mad and for one of the very few times of my life, I actually felt hungry in the morning and could not wait for my breakfast. I took 2 Ak-Mak crackers and a string cheese along with my coffee and head to work at 6:30 for a very long day..
My days are intensive but once I am out, I am out. I arrived home at 6 pm with no idea about what I am going to provide for dinner. I split 1/2 a hen with my son along with the lentils from the afternoon that I never had the chance to eat.
At work, there are always donuts and bagels along with some cut up fruits. I learnt to avoid them 90% of the time. In addition to the regular, today there was also pizza and somebody brought a cake. I really struggle not to eat the pizza and remained angry about my scale reading.
I am still planning on doing something today although I am quite tired from work. May be after a cup of tea... May be I should run at home... May be I should skip working out and prepare for my food tomorrow...May be, may be, may be... this is obssession! So is the saying: "one should eat to live not live to eat" right? or the food is a real pleasure and should be enjoyed and celebrated? All I know is I have a love hate relationship with the food and the kitchen but only recently when those originally 7 Lbs to lose became 17.......

Back from Europe!

5:00 am: my alarm clock is buzzing. I have to wake up to work out with my trainer. I toss in bed resenting the idea of leaving my warm bed only to be tortured by D. Five minutes pass and I decide to text him to find me a new appointment. I really don't dare talking to him. We have discussed this issue several times. After few text messages under the drapes and a lot of begging, he agrees to give me a later appointment. I was very content yet also aware that my husband might be thinking in his head: cheater!!" I stay in bed fully awake wondering if I took the right decision to postpone my session. I am always feeling guilty that I am not doing enough. And that really ruined the moment of feeling victorious in avoiding the early morning training.I fall asleep uncomfortable.....

I have been working the whole day and most of the night last night so I have my morning off. 1 pm, I go to my workout and work on 8 stations for my chest and triceps, preceded by a 10 min enjoyable run. After I am done, I am not even tired and am wondering if I should do some abs or a run. I decided against it and plan to go to a spinning class at 6 pm.

Now meet my 13 year old boy and my husband. My son thinks I have a chemical kitchen and my husband is very picky in food and almost lives on fruits. So you can understand I have a love hate relationship with the kitchen. I feel I am in control of what I put in my mouth and that of my family yet I don't really enjoy cooking especially when most of the days, nobody is eating. So today I decide I am going to cook something everybody would eat: Roasted petite poulet with Sumac.; something I have tried before with success but today I am stuffing the hens with pre cooked brown rice with peas and green beans. 1 cup for the 3 of us. I am still very suspicious of carbs.
So I chop about 6 onions ( I hate taking the food processor out and even more cleaning it after). I put Sumac (a lebanese spice that has a lemony flavour) on top and I save some onions for the rice. Now I decide that rice should not be fully cooked; Big mistake I realize when I had to cook the hens for extra 40 min just for the rice. Now I stuff the hens and relax.

As for my breakfast, I had 1.8 oz of French Baguette and 1 oz of marinated anchovies (I discovered them in Spain) and a string cheese stick. For lunch, I boiled a yam and topped it with low fat cottage cheese with cinnamon and 1 teaspoon of honey. A recipe I adapted from a book by the name of "Skinny chicks don't eat salads". Pretty good, right?

Follow me tomorow to find out what my problem is and what does Europe has to do with all this.

LUV

M&M